21. Seeing Someone You Invented

     Not invented like in a lab or something, but invented as in you convinced yourself they were something they aren't. Like that they really do care about you, they were just standoffish (even if they have more friends than cells in their body). Or that all those times they only texted you in the middle of the night was just because they were waking up for Fajr. Or they weren't super cocky, they just had an inferiority complex. Or that their outfits were not fboish, they were preppy. All of this is fine, so long as you don't reconnect with them. You can create any persona you want for them for as long as you don't see them, leaving your beliefs to either be confirmed or denied. You can be as in love with them as you like, until of course, you see them again. It might be months, years, decades later. It might never even happen; creating a strange never-ending "the one that got away." But when you do see them, your fallacy falls. And suddenly you can see who they really are and maybe even who they were. Maybe your stomach drops, or perhaps your heart lifts. Whichever it is, perhaps the destruction of delusion is the first step to liberation from the one that got away.

EDIT: I've been listening to this episode of the Modern Love podcast every few weeks since last October and it gets more and more real each time.