36. A Guide to Freshman Year
If you're about to start high school, you'll most likely hear —and have already heard— a lot of crappy, useless information. This might be just some more crappy, useless information, but these are things I wish someone had told me (or that I'd listened to) freshman year.
Your value should not be based on your grades. This one is as much for myself as anyone else, but it's probably one of the most important things you could ever understand. Your value comes from what kind of person you are, not how well you test. This doesn't mean you shouldn't work hard in school, it just means that a B+ (or even a D-) does not define you; your grades will never be a reflection of how kind you are, or how humble, or really even how intelligent you are. And if you're trying, be kind to yourself. Work on being a good person first, and then a good student.
Don't waste your time falling in love with seniors. This is probably the hardest piece of advice to follow, because it's so easy to want to believe that you're special and this means something, even if everyone else is telling you that it absolutely doesn't. Trust me, it probably doesn't. And I know that saying this isn't gonna make you believe it, because I didn't either, but as a girl, I feel obligated to pass on this knowledge to other girls. This person, whoever it may be, is almost certainly in a different headspace than you; they're a year away from university, and it's important to remember you're only a year out from middle school. This is the perfect recipe for either one-sided pining, or some kind of most-likely problematic reciprocation, at least at this point in your life. Of course, there are exceptions, or maybe in a couple years when you're both in the same place in life this could work (but please don't take this as advice to wait, or convince yourself that you guys are an exception if you're not). This is really hard and harsh-sounding advice to give, but I promise you it's not worth it to waste your time on someone who doesn't want you the same way you want them.
Never feel obligated to wear makeup. It's your face, and you can have it look however you want. If you want to put on makeup, by all means do it. But don't ever feel that you have to, because makeup is a bonus little embellishment, not an inherent part of getting ready or being "put together."
Be kind. This is the easiest tip I could give you; invite people to sit with you, compliment people, hold doors open, volunteer. Overall, just don't be a jerk. It could make someone's day, and it'll definitely make yours.
You'll be stressed, but don't let it consume you. The fact of the matter is that if you're doing what you're supposed to, you're gonna have a lot of work to do. And it'll be so tempting to just cry and worry about all the work you have to do, as opposed to just doing it and moving on. I'm telling you right now, you'll have to do it, so you might as well just get it over with. Don't let the stress of it take over your life; make sure you eat, and sleep, and spend some time with people you love.
Socialize. This one kind of ties into the last one, but don't let homework and clubs become your entire life. Make sure you have time to spend with your friends and family. Even if you have work to do, try to go out, I can pretty much guarantee you that you will still get your work done — taking three hours out of your weekend to spend time with your family and friends will not kill you. Spend the time you would've spent worrying about how you'll get your work done if you go out actually going out. I'm not telling you to go to dances or movies or parties instead of studying, I'm just letting you know that you can do both. Also try to get your homework done on Friday nights (it's not bad once you get into the habit, I promise) so that you can spend the rest of the weekend with friends and family.
Have a hobby. This is pretty much vital. Like I said before, you will get stressed. And personally, I'm really great at turning everything into work, so for me it's really important to have one thing that I enjoy that has absolutely no relation to school. For me that's writing (but it can't be an essay or story for class), for someone else it might be art (but it shouldn't be part of an art class homework assignment), or music (but it's not practicing for a school concert). It could be literally anything, but I recommend keeping it separate from school, so you can keep work and play separate, rather than pooling them together and having just some muddled school projects.
And lastly, it's okay to change. Maybe you're like me and you hate change, but even in that case it will happen. You might be a completely different person than you were a couple years ago, and that's really fine. It's possible that you won't be friends with the same people, or want to dress the same as you used to, or be into the same things you used to. Again, it's fine, because change is normal and good, and once you let yourself fully become who you are in this moment, you'll feel so much better.
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