15. Unrequited, Love?

In the tangled, trembling, tightroping world you seem to be losing your balance
Did you ever even have it?
Or did you dazzle me with your sequins, telling me to ignore the man behind the curtain?
I'm sorry I let the light reflecting off them blind me
I saw you through a kaleidoscope; shattered perhaps, but golden all the same
Were you who I wanted or who I wanted to be?

Why didn't I ask you where you'd been?
Why were you still awake?
Were you sick on the inside or out?
Why were you so hard to get a hold of?
Why were you always so goddamn tired?
Where did you go when you didn't think there was anyplace left?
When you were with me, were you being kind to me or yourself?

Is that curtain still up? Or is it a transparent enclosure? Am I seeing you now? Or have I invented you again? Are you home yet? Or are you still looking for it? Have I ever seen you? Or did I blindfold myself with everything I was afraid to see in me?

Whether I see you or not
Whether I hear you or not
Whether you're with me or not
Whether you're okay or not
My whispering, willowing, wishing heart sends a prayer your way